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Why do people bother

Grumpy John

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WARNING: Bit of a whinge coming up.
I am a member on several forums (not all photography related) and an administrator on one, and one thing that I have noticed across all forums is the number of people that post questions asking for help on a particular matter and then don't bother to respond when people try to help. To me this is the height of ignorance, not to thank someone when they have gone to the trouble to try and help. There has been no particular post on this forum that has caused me to start this post, but I am noticing this behaviour more and more. Is it just me, or do others feel the same. I have had a few ales this evening so that may be what has put me in a bit of a mood.
Living up to the name :)
 

Mj224

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No answer to the whinge, but its best to get it off your chest..at least you feel better, all meant in the nicest possible way...:)
 

Snips

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I'm afraid this attitude is the reason many of us don't bother to try and help new members as so many didn't respond. This is not true for all new members though I hasten to add.

I think what happens is they have a question they want answered so they register on several forums and when they receive an answer on one of them they won't bother returning to the other forums.
 

DonS

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It happens, often, they ask and never come back! I assume they are taking the shotgun approach and posting in several locations and get their answer somewhere else.

In the age of the internet basic, common courtesies seem to no longer matter to many people. "It's just the internet" is what one hears as if that is an excuse to be rude. I lump in spelling and grammar with that, they use the same excuse to not even bother.

Ok, there is my just after 8 am and I have a headache mini rant.
 

SeanNeedham

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I think what happens is they have a question they want answered so they register on several forums and when they receive an answer on one of them they won't bother returning to the other forums.
Not just that Edward, I've seen on quite a few forums where people won't bother responding to posts where it's been spread over a few and the answers given on one or another don't match their confirmation bias even if it's the correct answer compared to other answers given in other places. I've noticed that more on perhaps more technical boards than here where the OP already has a preconceived answer but the answers don't match what they think they should be getting.
 

Skyshot

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I too have been Admin & Mod on several forums over the years and it's always happened to a certain degree, but IME nowhere near as much as it seems to be happening now.

Without wanting to upset the younger people amongst us; it's a sad fact that a high percentage of younger English people just haven't been taught manners like us old farts were. Parents and teachers just can't be bothered with it.

How often in the past have you heard the locals say that the English have such good manners when on holiday? This is because we actually do go a little bit overboard with it compared with some cultures.

In fact in some cultures, saying 'thank you' can actually be interpreted as offensive. For example; in the Philippines and India, friends and family are expected to do things for one another which means there’s no reason for such a phrase. It’s just assumed that you’ll eventually return the favour at some time in the future.

Still, we're stuck in our ways and I like to be thanked if I help someone. We were after all, taught that manners cost nothing. ;)

Ho hum . . .
 

imagesBV

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I agree with the above observations.......its a shame that the current cultural trend is get what you can for yourself and sod everyone else.

It also annoys me that businesses send out emails and letters en-bloc knowing that the content is irrelevant to the individual.....its partly the same attitude and it breeds...
We need a ministry of customer service; which is so minimal with many companies doing everything they can to block communication.....for example I've been told I cant have my flight money back from EasyJet for a flight that they cancelled.....do not reply to this email...incredible.

......if that's the case in a commercial setting its hardly surprising that on forums there is a selfish attitude where there is anonymity .
 

Pteranadon

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Let's start a 100 post minimum before any questions!

Kidding of course!
 

Grumpy John

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WOW, I wasn't expecting so many respondents to my little rant. Looks like I'm not the only person that expects good manners, i.e. a thank you, when help is offered.
 

Grumpy John

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instant gratification minus the actual gratitude. what more could you want from the internet?
Pretty much sums it up.
 

Isac

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I do a lot of free Photoshop edits for folks on Reddit and the some people that request the fix up don't even say "please". I got a bit fed up one day and suggested to one person, that if they added "please" to their request, I would gladly assist. WELL! I got hammered. for asking such a horrible thing. It's the way of the young world so we have to accept it I guess.
I ONCE complained to the admins about the vulgar language being used and in his reply back told me that he sort of agreed but said "It's in the younger ones vocabulary now and that's the norm". You can tell a courtroom judge to go get "F"ed and it is accepted!! I can only say, I'm glad I'm old and won't have to endure the **** that is coming in the near future.
 

Grumpy John

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I do a lot of free Photoshop edits for folks on Reddit and the some people that request the fix up don't even say "please". I got a bit fed up one day and suggested to one person, that if they added "please" to their request, I would gladly assist. WELL! I got hammered. for asking such a horrible thing. It's the way of the young world so we have to accept it I guess.
I ONCE complained to the admins about the vulgar language being used and in his reply back told me that he sort of agreed but said "It's in the younger ones vocabulary now and that's the norm". You can tell a courtroom judge to go get "F"ed and it is accepted!! I can only say, I'm glad I'm old and won't have to endure the **** that is coming in the near future.
Not always young people Isac, quite a few of the oldies think that they're entitled and have no need for the word please. You do not have to accept it, just don't respond to people who can't be bothered to ask in a decent manner.
It's a bit like having the "it's good enough" attitude, your images won't get any better if you have that attitude. Likewise peoples behaviour won't improve if you accept their bad bevaviour.
 

Isac

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Not always young people Isac, quite a few of the oldies think that they're entitled and have no need for the word please. You do not have to accept it, just don't respond to people who can't be bothered to ask in a decent manner.
It's a bit like having the "it's good enough" attitude, your images won't get any better if you have that attitude. Likewise peoples behaviour won't improve if you accept their bad bevaviour.
I know where you're coming from GJ. I personally don't accept it and I ignore the offending posts. I just don't respond as you said. I can't see it changing though. Thanks for your comments.
 

loki

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the cursing doesn't bother me too much. but i learned how to curse from quite a few of my great aunts and uncles from the time i started talking. my great uncle denny said he'd be d***ed if one of his brats went off to kindergarten without having a proper vocabulary. he also taught us how to spit and play poker around the same time, i really miss him.

the lack of manners does bother me in a way, it's not that they don't use please and thank you, it's more of the issue of entitlement that seems to go along with the lack of manners. you'll do this for me because i deserve it. and you'll do it for free and put something special in there. i think you're right to ignore the ones who are being jerkwads. it's not going to change anytime soon, there's too much entitlement in the world. everybody grows up getting a trophy nowadays so that means you get something no matter what.
 

DonS

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he lack of manners does bother me in a way, it's not that they don't use please and thank you, it's more of the issue of entitlement that seems to go along with the lack of manners. you'll do this for me because i deserve it. and you'll do it for free and put something special in there. i think you're right to ignore the ones who are being jerkwads. it's not going to change anytime soon, there's too much entitlement in the world. everybody grows up getting a trophy nowadays so that means you get something no matter what.
This is the generation that grew up with "everyone wins". They "graduated" every grade in school, everyone got a trophy, etc. In the workplace they all expect to be promoted after a short period of time "because". This upbringing by society, and it is all our fault, we did it, we did not stop it, has built this sense of entitlement into a generation.
 

Skyshot

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This upbringing by society, and it is all our fault, we did it, we did not stop it, has built this sense of entitlement into a generation.
What I don't understand is how such moronic thinking ever became so popular. Every species in nature 'knows' the importance of 'survival of the fittest' and that only through competition will things improve. By making everyone equal we go against millions of years of evolution and effectively devolve or dilute the gene pool into making ourselves weaker.

All through the seventies and eighties I taught Karate classes. It was fantastic to see the changes in young people and kids as they progressed in their skills and attitude to life as a result of achieving their various grades through sheer hard work and practice. I stopped teaching it in the early nineties because the attitude that students didn't need to progress or improve any more was becoming more prevalent and I found it absolutely laughable.

Maybe that's why so many photographers nowadays buy expensive cameras and then use them on 'auto' shooting jpgs. They just can't be bothered to learn the basics and want 'expert' results without effort. :exit:
 
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DonS

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What I don't understand is how such moronic thinking ever became so popular. Every species in nature 'knows' the importance of 'survival of the fittest' and that only through competition will things improve. By making everyone equal we go against millions of years of evolution and effectively devolve or dilute the gene pool into making ourselves weaker.
It is to make people not feel bad. It is about feelings and not hurting them.
 

Skyshot

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It is to make people not feel bad. It is about feelings and not hurting them.
Exactly, so that they become weaker. They in turn breed weak offspring who are guided and raised by weak people. It's a slippery slope and everybody loses - especially the weak.
 

loki

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This is the generation that grew up with "everyone wins". They "graduated" every grade in school, everyone got a trophy, etc. In the workplace they all expect to be promoted after a short period of time "because". This upbringing by society, and it is all our fault, we did it, we did not stop it, has built this sense of entitlement into a generation.
we had some rioting and looting recently and they even broke into the trophy shop to steal some trophys. everyone got a trophy for rioting and looting. well, maybe not everyone, but quite a few got of them got a trophy. it's sad and pathetic, but you can't help but laugh at the insane stupidity.
 
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