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Would this be Roger???


Always on
Premium Member
This, apparently is an actual letter received by the Canadian Passport
Office, from an irate Newfoundlander attempting to renew his passport

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe
this. How is it that Bell-Allianz has my address and telephone number
and knows that I bought a friggin' satellite dish from them back in
1977, and yet, the Canadian Government is still asking me where I was
friggin' born and on what date.

For Chripe sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have
on my pension checks, and it is on all the income tax forms I’ve filed
for the past 30 years. It is on my Health card, my driving license,
my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I’ve had, on all
those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before
being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those
insufferable census forms. Would somebody please take note, once and
for all, that my mother’s name is Mary Anne, my father's name is
Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between
now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me,
I've had enough of this bullhookey! You send the application to my
house, then you ask me for my bloody address!!!! What is going on?
Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my
damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?

I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for **** sakes. I just want to
go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone
please tell me, why would you give a **** whether I plan on visiting a
farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird
to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you’d be the last friggin
people I'd want to tell! Well, I have to go now, ‘cause I have to go
to the other end of the friggin city to get another f******g copy of
my birth certificate, to the tune of $35. Would it be so complicated
to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of
a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo,

That'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us
running all over the f******n’ place like chickens with our heads cut
off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on
the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to
smile?! (bureaucratic friggin’ morons) Hey, do you know why we
couldn’t smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!


An Irate Canadian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone
to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in Newfoundland
since 1497 and I’ve been a Canadian Citizen since 1949. I have served
in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security
clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly
secretive missions all over the world. However, I have to get someone
‘important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor -

Have a Great Day


Stuck in Toronto
Sounds like a Newfie :) Here is a kicker: my brother, born to Canadian parents one an active military member one a former, was born in West Germany. My father was on NATO duty. My brother was born in Dusseldorf in a British Army Hospital. He was issued a Canadian Government birth certificate. This is all he has had for a birth certificate since 1964. If he wants a passport, it is not considered valid proof of birth. They only accept Provincial Birth Certificates or registration of birth as proof of birth location.

I do not know if these rules have changed, there must be 1000's in the same situation.